Grief and Sadness 2 sherlock's POV
by animefangirl28
Summary: this is a sequel of Grief and Sadness but in Sherlock's POV.
1. Chapter 1

**Before you read this story, this is Sherlock's POV. From Grief and Sadness I recommend you read that story before this and then read this.**

I'm sorry john, I'm sorry that I left you for three years but I had to, Mortarty told me that he would kill you, Mrs. Hudson, and Lestrade so I did it, I fake me own death.

I have been staying with Molly for three years and I told her to not tell you, or Mrs. Hudson, or lestrade, or my brother, they know that I'm alive.

But not you, I didn't what to see those tears again, those tears that came over my fake body.

I have been watching you John, you are miserable, when I walk right past you while I'm wearing a jacket and jeans I can see you, you have bags under your eyes, you are skinny, and you always look sad. It's my fault.

When I walk past Baker Street and look at the apartment, sometimes I can hear you playing my violin, and when I hear it I cry a bit and say "just wait John, wait for another year"

But on my birthday I see you putting a candle on the window and quietly sing happy birthday to me but you never finish because you drop to the floor crying screaming "come back, come back to me Sherlock, I miss you, I love you with all my heart" I'm sorry John, I love you too but wait for me.

Sometime my stupid brother text me saying like

_He is getting worst Sherlock, its best you stop with this, who knows what he will do- MH_

_He will be fine Mycroft, remember he is a strong man- SH _

_So say that I warned you Sherlock-MH _

But it's true I think what will happen to you, some night I dream that your over the hospital on the spot where I jumped and you take your own life, or I find you one day hanging yourself while your legs swing lifeless, or I find out your are taking bad drugs like the pill's I kept from the cabbie so I can study them, or even worst shooting yourself

I don't want to think about it because you won't hear me saying I love you.

Sometimes I watch you go to the grave with flowers with my scarf, the scarf is a fake I had my mother make another one and add my smell to it. As I watch you talk to my grave I can hear you say that you can't go on anymore but you have to keep strong, for me. Sometime when you bring flowers you ether leave them here or hold tightly and start to cry in them. I'm sorry John.

I can see that now you can't take it anymore after these three years John, you don't have to wait anymore John, I couldn't wait ether John, I will come to the flat and as you sulk in my chair I will go through the pain you screaming at me and punching my stomach while you say "three years Sherlock, three years" I'm ready for it.

**Now like in the first story (if you have read the first story like I told you), I will take it out of his perspective. **

As Sherlock was about to leave Molly's flat, he grabbed him phone to text her saying that he's going back his phone was buzzing showing his brother.

"What is it brother, I'm about to see John?" Sherlock can heard him panting on the phone "this is about John"

The room felt quiet "what about him, is he ok?"

Mycroft's voice got higher "no brother, he just text me saying he's going to take his own life, I already called for help, get there NOW!" Mycroft hanged up. Sherlock's heart sunken, John was going to take his own life.

"Shit no time for a cabbie, I have to run" he burst out the door and booked it down the side walked.

He ran through traffic, he didn't care about the horns honking at him; he had to get to John before it's too late.

**10 seconds later **

Sherlock burst through the door of Baker Street and headed to his room.

"JOHN, JOHN WAIT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOI-" it's too late, john has shot himself through the head, blood was pouring out of his head, and the gun was still in his hand with the finger was still on the trigger slightly and he could see that John was smiling.

Sherlock grabbed the lifeless body slowly while tears where running from his eyes "no, no, no John you can't be dead, no" he started to shake him "please I need you, I'm not dead, JOHN WAKE UP DAMMIT!" He let go of John and got on to his knees and started to ball out crying.

"JOOOOOOHHHNNNNN!" Sherlock never know his true feeling for John till he has found him lying on the bloody soaking up bed.

Sherlock grabbed his phone and called up Mycroft

"Brother it's too late, I couldn't save him, I couldn't" he could hear him sigh "I'm sorry Sherlock, I'm soooo sorry"

"What did he say, what did he say in his last text?"

"Alright when he texted me he said put me next to Sherlock, so I can be with him forever" Sherlock eyes widen, more tears came out "thank you brother" he hanged up and walked to the body.

He caressed Johns cheek "me too john, I wish we can be together too" he bended over to John and kissed his soft lips, he got into the bed next to him and started to cry while holding John and the gun "I love you too, wait for me" his last tear came down and he felt himself pull the trigger. **End **

**OH GOD I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW, WHY DID I HAVE TO DO THIS?!**


	2. Chapter 2

**To make anyone happy after that last chapter if anyone cried I'm going to make an alternate ending since on my other story has one. Enjoy.**

Sherlock burst through the door of Baker Street and headed up to his room

"JOHN!" he screamed he shouted out, his heart was beating, he didn't want to see his best and only friend kill himself. He opened up his bed room door to find John Watson. Alive

"Sherlock" John said with tears coming down his cheek with happiness but Sherlock can see John's eyes were filled with anger.

Sherlock pulled out the gun out of John grip and hugged him deeply "what the hell were you thinking John?"

Sherlock can feel John sobbed on his shoulder hardly like a three year old "b-b-but your dead Sherlock" Sherlock was rocking him like a baby while shushing him "it's ok John, its ok John, I won't do it again I promise"

"Three years Sherlock, t-t-t-three years" Sherlock felt like he was going to cry too "I'm sorry john; I didn't know how bad it affected you, Mycroft texted me and told me what you said so I came here before it was too late"

**So I'm going to put it back in Sherlock's POV. Because I felt I had to need to do that. **

I felt like my body can move since I was holding John but I don't care, all I care about is my John. It felt like hours before the medics came, when they came, my brother was behind them Mycroft was behind them.

"I see that you came just in time before he killed himself" he said, I hate to agree but he was right, if he didn't texted me, John wouldn't be here, if he did I wouldn't live with myself.

As we watch the paramedics roll John into car he looked at me, "Sherlock, can you come with me? I feel like I can't go anywhere without you now" I looked at the doctors, they nodded their heads and I got in with them.

As we were riding the car, John was trying to talk to me but I told him he needs to be quit, I didn't want him to stress more after all that Experian's.

As we pulled up to the hospital, I saw Molly in front of the door waiting for us. When I jump of the vehicle, she walked up to me and said "I see that you were able to get to him" I nodded "yes I'm happy, if I didn't come any sooner I" stop my sentence and started to cry.

Suddenly I can feel Molly hugging me "it's alright Sherlock, as long as he's alive, you don't have to think about it" I smiled a bit "thanks Molly"

As we watch the doctors pulled in John into the hospital I felt worried for him. I followed the people till one of the doctors stopped me.

"Sorry Mr. Holmes, you can't come with us, we are going to run a couple of tests on him and have him on liquid food for a bit since we noticed he was really skinny" the man said to me. I watch the people rolled in John to a room then looked back at the doctor.

"Will he be alright" before he walked away, he turn back to me "just wait in the waiting room so I can talk to you after the test"

I wanted to say something but all I could do was nod.

It felt like hours waiting for them, all I can do was play around was my phone, or as the people walked past me I would do deduction on them. There was one women who was 16 who was 5 months pregnant who hasn't told her boyfriend yet because he could tell her to get rid of it, and also she seems to have trouble at work since her boss doesn't pay her that well but it seems that her parents are supporting her.

I heard the door open to see Molly walking toward me. I got up from my seat and go up to her too.

"Molly is he alright, his he sick, is ok, how is he?" oh great now I feel like mother who is scared of her child dying.

"He's alright Sherlock" I breathed in for relief "he was pretty skinny for only eating little bit of food, plus he is really tired so we are going to let him sleep and the doctor wants to run more test on him"

"When can I see him?"

"Come back in a few days, he needs his rest and so do you Sherlock, and your welcome stay at my flat for tonight if you don't feel like going back to Baker Street" I nodded a bit and headed out he exit "oh and Sherlock" Molly called out "don't worry we will call you when he wakes up so don't worry"

I nodded a bit and left the hospital. As I was walking to Molly's I welt more worried like what if he will never forgive me, or even look at me, or what if he never wakes up? I shook my head a couple times to get the ideas, maybe when I get to molly's I will go into my mind palace and forget this whole ordeal.

Two days past and molly called me up saying that John was awake and I should come down to the hospital and see him; of course I was going to see him.

I put on my normal purple shirt and trousers and headed down to the hospital. As I was walking to the cabbie stop I made a quick stop at the flower store and picked up some flowers and a card, I hope John will like this because I will never do this again.

After I paid the cabbie I headed into the lobby finding that Molly was waiting for me "good to see you Sherlock, john is in his room waiting for you"

"What room is he in?"

"221" she said giggling "I'm going to delete that later" as she was giggle a bit I left for the room.

As I got to the room I saw John with his eyes closed, I want to kiss him so badly right now, and his lips look so soft.

"Hey John, how are you feeling?"

"Ok, the doctors said I get to leave in three days" I set the flowers down next to him and walked up to him, I suddenly felt tears run down my eyes "oh John, I'm so sorry for what happened".

I saw John smile and said "it's fine, I forgive you" wow, what drugs did they put him on, and where can I get some?

I shook my head a bit and pulled him into a hug "no John it's not fine, you almost killed yourself, I shouldn't have do-" I was stop suddenly felt his lips hit me and I welcomed it. When we pulled for air and he said "stop talking you idiot, I forgive you".

I smiled a bit and gave him another kiss and hug and said back to him "I promise, if I had to do it again, I will take you with me"

I heard him chuckle a bit "that's good, but after I get out of this hospital, I'm going to kick your fucking arse" I smiled that he's back to normal. **End **

**Sorry I made Sherlock out of character a couple of times, I wanted him to have some of his feelings for John. **

**Also if you have watch the mini-series Fargo in the hospital scene they showed Martin Freeman was in room 221 and I was laughing my ass off. So I made this chapter a little longer because I thought it was fun. Hope you enjoyed and please give me a review. **


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